Empowerment Through Self Awareness
Putting the “Self” in Self-esteem
June 13, 2014Posted by on
Were does your self-esteem come from? Is it based on how you look or perform, how someone (parent/partner) feels about you, how much money you have in the bank? What happens to you when you age, perform poorly, have a major disagreement with your partner, or suffer a financial loss?
Most of us do not give self esteem a second thought. When things are going well, we don’t need to. When things go wrong in a major way it is a healthy self-esteem that keeps us from over-reacting, from getting lost in despair and overwhelm.
So what’s a healthy self-esteem? Where do we get it from and how do we sustainit? A big key is in the word itself. The “self” in self esteem is YOU. What do you think of yourself? What needs to be addressed for you to like yourself? Are you willing to make those changes? How do you tell YOU that you are important? When was the last time you did something you like to do, just because? We get caught up in our schedules and commitments and forget that feeding our “self” means more than good nutrition. It means exercise we enjoy for our soul, our mind and our body. It means expressing ourselves, however that looks – art, dance, music, book club. It means indulging in things that make us feel good, clean and whole. You control these things, and only you can take them away.
We cannot always control how we look, perform, how others feel about us, or how much money we have in the bank, but we can do things that make us feel good about ourselves. We can tell ourselves we are important by dedicating time to things that bring us joy and meaning. We can spend time in the company of others who genuinely like us. These things fill up our “esteem account” and help us weather the storms that come our way naturally in life.
If you have had a tendency to get your esteem from how others feel about you, or how well you perform or anything else that is largely out of your control challenge yourself to get to know you. Give something new and exciting to you a try. Make note of your response. If it makes you feel good, remember that and do more things like it. If it doesn’t, chalk it up to experience and move on. Build a resilient YOU.